I wonder how many of us parents see our children’s control issues as them trying to control us, rather than the child trying to control their own little world but very often using strategies that are not healthy. I wonder if when we think our child is trying to control or manipulate us, we take it personally and that belief triggers something in us that makes us start the actual power struggle. Are you letting your own triggered issues interfere in your ability to see beyond your child’s behavior to their true needs? Next time you are about to be caught in this power struggle loop ask yourself if what you child is asking for is really unreasonable after all.
One of the things I most love about TBRI and connected parenting is that it teaches us parents the concept of shared power (in appropriate amounts). When we allow even our youngest children to be a part of the decisions, we give them a voice and that builds trust in and connections with us.
Here is a short clip on sharing power from Karyn Purvis.